He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
