Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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