from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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