I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
