I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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