She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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