You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
