I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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