think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
id be glad to
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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