shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
foreskin is a definite game changer
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
