no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
