If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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