Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
