i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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