I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Randomize
