is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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