VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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