that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
