And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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