Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She said her name was "party"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
