you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
