He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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