ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize