dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
