I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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