she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
