Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
