I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
