Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
