oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
