why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
