I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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