Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize