tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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