u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
