she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Someone signed my nipple.
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