you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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