Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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