She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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