Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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