Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
