it was like his penis was on wheels.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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