You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
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