I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
