At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
the raccoons are back...
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