Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
