I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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