Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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