My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
