why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
