To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
