There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize