is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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