it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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