So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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