if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
