Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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