so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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