It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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