Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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